January 19--Masquerade
I am confused by who I really am. Which face is the real me? I play so many roles that I have forgotten who the main character in this great play of life is.
Here are some of my many faces:
The family face
The smart kid face
The athelete face
The musician face
The goal-driven face
The party face
The friend face
The alone face
The future-thinking face
The people-pleasing face; The church face; The extroverted face; The introverted face; The hurt face; The happy face; The "Give me attention" face; The hopeful face; The "I've got it all together" face.
Who am I? Why do I masquerade like this? Why can't I simply be okay with who I really am and be that person all of the time? Why do I feel like I have to constantly switch my faces for the appropriate occasion? What does this say about me?
Since the beginning of time, we as humans have tried to cover up who we really are. Consider Adam and Eve. They had life like we all dream of living it. They lived in perfect community, in the perfect environment, with not a care in the world, and with one restriction:
"Don't eat from that one tree!"
-God
Do you remember in the book of Genesis when Adam and Eve screw up? After they have experienced community bliss and everything that God has to offer, including a personal walking and talking relationship with His divine self what do they do? They violate the only restriction that they could violate.
Then what? What is the first thing that they do?
They hide themselves! They hide from God and they hide from each other. They no longer want to give others an unobstructed view of who they are.
Do you relate with this?
Does this make you tired?
Why do we cover up who we really are?
Do you know who you really are?
How does this hiding inhibit your relationship with God? With others?
Read these:
Genesis 1:27
Jeremiah 1:4-5
Galatians 2:20
You are God's beloved! What do you need to believe this?
What do you need to live this?
What are you saying about yourself and God by covering up who you are?
The masquerade must end. It's not going to end today and probably won't end tomorrow. But the more that we acknowledge that we are His beloved, the more those masks might break away. Maybe you could start be identifying the masks that you wear as you wear them. Look back over your day and try to remember how you responded or said or acted in certain times. The first step might be identifying the masks. The next step might be giving them to God.
Don't masquerade--this community--this world needs you to be fully who God made you to be!
posted by 209 Staff @ 11:43 AM
13 Comments:
I think it is so easy for use to put on masks because they allow use to be spectators in our own lives. Masks are like barricades, they protect use from the vulnerability of relationships. It is hard to be real with God when you can't even be real with yourself.
One thing that I have noticed is that our mask can deceive even those closest to use. One of my friends recently told me that I was one of the happiest people she knew. This made me laugh out loud. I was almost impressed by how well I was able to hide my true emotions. But because my masks were so good and I had been hiding behind them for most of my life, I had no idea of who I really was. It was a difficult realization to come to, but one that I am glad I made early in my life. Through this I am learning to trust God and others around me.
What is the difference between putting on a false mask and what Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 9:20-23? or what Jesus is talking about in John 14:8-14?
I would say that Paul and Jesus are trying to reveal something through the image they project rather than conceal.
Perhaps in this discussion we can also talk about the things that we want to reveal about who we are and what we believe, as we acknowledge the things we suppress by putting on masks.
(I find it topical that this comment box is asking for me to "Choose an identity" before posting my message)
I think what Paul describes in 1 Cor. 9:20-23 is not necessarily putting on a mask. I think it's more his way of describing association with the people he encountered, relating to them. Just like Jesus who sat down and had a meal with tax collectors, prostitutes and other "sinners".
I think putting on a mask equals faking it, which is not what Paul did. That's what I do when I pretend to have it together when I really don't, or I pretend to be brave when I'm really about ready to wet my pants. Or I pretend to be strong when I'm shaking in my boots...
To Address G...
1 Cor. 9:20-23 is talking about masks. you see he puts on a diffrent mask with the jews to become onewith the jews he is implying fakeing. when he says "I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some." hes saying that he has become like everyone to fit in and "win votes" in a way.
I don't know, Jonny. I have a hard time envisioning Paul being fake... To me "Mask" means that I am hiding who I truly am. I don't think Paul is hiding who he truly is, he is removing cultural barriers and obstacles that may be offensive to the people he is trying to reach. Maybe your definition of mask is different from mine?
Sometimes the reasons that I act differently at school is not because I want to be different necessarily, but it is because I just feel more comfortable with the girls at housegroup
-freshmen girls
Besides wearing different masks with different people, we realized that we also try to wear a mask with God, which is kinda silly. God knows who we are, He made us. He knows everything about us and He loves us anyway. So hiding is not really possible, but we do it regardless. One comment was, "sometimes I feel that I have to do certain things to be accepted by God." It's interesting to find out that we know in our heads that God loves us and that there's nothing we can do to make Him love us more (or less), yet we still play that game, because we don't necessarily know this truth in our hearts.
Another thing we realized was that it is scary to take the mask off. It requires us to be completely vulnerable and trusting. Personally, I'm afraid to do that because I'm afraid that I'd be walked all over.
It would be very hard to take off a mask that some people are used to seeing and showing a different part of yourself. Many times people will form different masks when around different people because of the things you do together and how they would feel about you.
It may feel like you are wearing a mask when you are with God even though He knows everything about you because there may be times when you do something bad that you may be afaid He may not like. You still realize that God still knows what you don't want him to know but it is still hard, just like with anyone else.
For example, I tend to be sort of quit at school. When I am with friends from school, I am a little more talkative. At church, I feel very comfortable because I can talk to anyone and I know everyone there will accept me, whereas at school lots of people will look at someone and judge them right then.
At home I act probably similar to the way anyone esle would act around their family. Then when I am by myself, I act what I feel like acting like. Sort of like a toddler who doesn't care what anyone thinks.
Maybe the reason you get more and more masks as you grow older is because I start to worry more about what other people think. And the more masks you have, the harder it is to figure out who you really are.
-Freshmen girls
I think the idea of masks is sometimes forced on to us. Frankly, I would like to say that I am who I am around almost everyone. Sure when I go for an interview I am much more serious than I would be when I'm having a food fight, but I think I am my odd, drama kid self wherever I go. The mask that I ALWAYS put on (I don't have the 20 different masks, I have the one major one, who I've come to be best friends with) is the "i'm ok mask." In reality, no one wants to hear that you've had a bad day or that your mom is going in for surgery or the time when you were so depressed for no reason that you thought about hurting yourself. People don't want to hear that. People at church don't want to hear that. I think it comes from a combination of not knowing what to say and the strive to be happy people.
My mom meets with a guy once a week for coffee that deals with the same struggles she does. She enjoys it because she can openly say "I feel like crap and I'm pissed of at life" and he can say the exact same thing back to her. They don't need to worry about bringing the other person down. They are able to find comfort in the knowledge that they share the same troubles. I admire their friendship. Not all of us are that blessed sometimes...
But I guess we are blessed with the love of God; we can lean on him. Sometimes I just wish I had someone here to talk to that completley understood what I was going through.
Stens- when the masks start to decieve our closest friends, not to mention ourselves, it's no longer a mask. It's now a mold upon our face and it gets harder and harder to take off as time goes by.
In response to care's comment, people do genuinely care about how you feel, even if it brings them down. You got to go down to come back up.
Care- My masks have not turned into molds, they are slowly but surely disintegrating. This is because I am realizing that I have a lot of people who care about me, even if they can’t understand exactly what I’m going through. It’s almost better if they don’t. I don’t need advice, I just need an ear.
I think it's true that some people don't want to hear about other people's troubles, thus the "how are you - fine - and you - fine" routine. But that is not true for everyone. Like Stens said, some people do genuinely care - and it's up to you (care) to be willing to share what's really going on. I think sometimes it's just easier to say, "no one cares anyway, so why bother" than to share what's really going on - thus wearing the "happy face mask". It's that vulnerability thing, I guess... at any rate, I'm willing to listen to anyone who wants to share with me what's really going on in their life.
I was listening to music on my way home from Thursday's house groups this last week and this song started playing. It shocked me, touched me, and I feel that it was a message from God. I am just getting around to posting this becasue I don't share much with
others and did not think that I would share this but I am coming to share today. The lyrics to the song are:
"Stained Glass Masquerade"
By:Casting Crowns
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
This hits me hard everytime I hear it now. I wear a mask or more honestly I hid behind a mask. What I call my happy mask. To hid the pain within. Hoping that if I can hid the pain from the world it will go away and I can be the good little girl that has it all together. But God knows who I am on the inside and there is no hiding from that. Now I need to take the huge step forward take off my mask and show the world that I don't have it all together, I hurt, and so on. But more then that I need to relize that it is okay and that God is by my side...hold me, guiding me, and wipping my tears away. Maybe sometime I will post a poem about my mask but I don't know. Sorry that this is so long and goes on and on. Once I get started it is hard for me to stop. I hope that someone was able to take something of help from what I said.
It fascinates me that masks are often times a consequence to pain. Reading through these comments, I have spent time reflecting not only on the masks that I wear but also why I wear them. What happened to produce such a mask?
The first step is identifying the mask. Maybe the second is asking God to show us what happened to cause it. Then, the third could be praying for God's healing.
Consider these words:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened (could it be from carrying/wearing so many masks?), and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy adn my burden is light.
--Jesus
(Matthew 11:28-30)
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